Glastonbury - you’re hard work but you never disappoint.

My 6th time at the greatest place on earth, and the reason to have hope in humanity. I went with a fantastic group of friends who I love and who love music and dancing and wringing every last drop of life out of the 5 days we’re allowed to be free.

The following are all quotes overheard somewhere in a field in Somerset…

The safest way is the tit. Oh no, my water baby. I’ll conform! I’ll take a brown one. Water is wet. I’ve got sympathetic accent syndrome. It’s my job to take the drugs; it’s his job to know where they are. I hope it’s a banana. I’ve just noticed his nipples. My jaw’s going but my eyes haven’t followed. I was doing every single guitar riff with my mouth. I’ve lost my shoe. I thought you asked me if I’d had a bolognese. We’re between the squids and the wizards. You can’t be excited for her, she’s dead. Do you like my box? It’s hairy.

What I Saw

🌟 = favourite performances

Wednesday

• 22:00 Glastonbury Opening Ceremony @ Pyramid Stage

Thursday

• 14:00 Gwenno @ Tree Stage, Woodsies
• 19:00 Joshua Idehen @ The Rum Shack, The Common 🌟
• 21:00 Elvana @ Sensation Seekers, Theatre & Circus
• 00:00 Dogshow @ Bimble Inn, Park

Friday

• 12:00 Supergrass @ Pyramid Stage
• 14:00 Fat Dog @ Woodsies 🌟
• 15:45 Wet Leg @ Other Stage
• 17:15 Franz Ferdinand @ Other Stage
• 18:15 Alanis Morissette @ Pyramid Stage
• 20:15 Biffy Clyro @ Pyramid Stage 🌟
• 22:15 Maribou State @ West Holts
• 00:15 Nish Kumar & James Acaster DJ @ Cabaret, Theatre & Circus

Saturday

• 14:00 Beabadoobee @ Other Stage
• 15:15 Weezer @ Other Stage
• 17:00 Amyl & The Sniffers @ Other Stage 🌟
• 18:15 Pulp @ Pyramid Stage 🌟
• 20:00 Raye @ Pyramid Stage 🌟
• 22:00 Neil Young & The Chrome Hearts @ Pyramid Stage
• 00:00 Four Tet @ Arcadia
• 01:00 Annie Mac b2b Jamz Supernova @ Arcadia
• 02:00 Groove Armada @ Arcadia
• 03:30 Blawan @ IICON, Block 9

Sunday

• 14:00 Cymande @ West Holts
• 15:00 Joy Crookes @ Other Stage
• 16:30 Turnstile @ Other Stage 🌟
• 17:30 Adult DVD @ BBC Introducing, Silver Hayes
• 18:30 St Vincent @ Woodsies 🌟
• 19:45 Wolf Alice @ Other Stage
• 21:45 The Prodigy @ Other Stage 🌟
• 23:15 Basil Brush @ Cabaret, Theatre & Circus
• 00:00 Coco Maria @ Mez Yard, The Common
• 02:00 Marc Rebillet @ Shangri-la
• 03:30 Snapped Ankles @ Shangri-la 🌟